Step 1. Is Divorce Unavoidable For Me?
A Christian does not make a decision whether to divorce or not. A Christian DISCERNS whether or not to divorce.
What does it mean to discern?
To figure out if the feelings we have, the voice inside our head, is coming from God, the devil, or ourselves.
Sometimes the devil makes what is bad seem good, and what is good seem bad. Hence the need for discernment. We can’t just go with how we feel; we need to think it through.
How do you think it through?
You pray. It comes down to trying to understand what God’s will is for your life, and if your marriage can be saved. It’s common for a marriage to have rough patches. If you ask a priest/minister what to do, they will ask you if you worked on your marriage.
How do you know how to work on a marriage or if you have done enough to work on your marriage?
The most obvious is to pray about it. You can pray by reading the Bible, talking to God, or whatever works for you, but pray.
Talk to someone, other than friends or family. Many times, friends or family will just tell you what you want to hear. Seek a counselor or priest/minister/deacon. With your spouse if you can. A person can assist you better if they have the perspectives of you and your spouse.
All marriages have rough patches, how do you know if you need to keep on going?
You have to be a Christian to others, but to yourself as well.
Understand that the devil will make what is bad seem good, good seem bad. Marriage can seem bad, but commonly you don’t really know if divorce is unavoidable unless you work on the marriage. If you ask a priest/minister if it’s okay to divorce, they will ask you if you worked on your marriage. Through working on the marriage you will find out if divorce is unavoidable. You will also learn more about yourself, which will be beneficial in all your relationships.
If you are not sure if you have done enough, check out Things to Know About Marriage below
Also, check out the blog articles on discernment.
If you have done everything within reason to work on the marriage, the next step is to talk to a priest/minister or deacon. Don’t assume they will talk you out of divorce. Their role is to help you do God’s will, and experience the peace and joy of the risen Lord.
“I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me” - Philippians 4:13