Step 2. What Will My Church Think?
WHY SHOULD YOU CARE WHAT YOUR CHURCH THINKS WHEN YOU KNOW DIVORCE IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
The church wants what is right for you as well. They want you to thrive as a Christian, and most churches understand that sometimes divorce is unavoidable.
WHEN DOES A CHURCH THINK IT’S OKAY FOR A CHRISTIAN TO DIVORCE?
Bill wanted to divorce his wife, Lucy. They had been unhappy for a long time. There was no abuse, no affairs, they had just grown apart. They no longer had anything in common. Bill did not want to live his life like that any longer, so he divorced. He did not talk to anyone from the church because he assumed they would tell him not to. He felt guilty afterwards and stopped going to church.
Kaitlyn desperately wanted to divorce. Her husband was physically abusive from time to time. She didn’t think her husband was a good role model for her son, but she also believed a Christian should never divorce, so she stayed married.
Confusion over the beliefs of one’s church is common. Many times, people act on false assumptions, much to their own detriment.
Sometimes people become angry because they assume the church will be against them. Other times, they stay in abusive marriages because they believe their church expects them to.
Whereas when people understand the teachings of their church, it actually makes things much simpler.
Most of the Christian churches recognize that sometimes divorce is unavoidable in order for us to thrive, love, and to serve God and others.
How can that be?
There are many Bible verses that state marriage is for life. True. There are also Bible verses that state how spouses are supposed to treat each other. Not all spouses follow these teachings and respect their spouse, much less truly love them.
If one spouse doesn’t do what they are supposed to do, does that give the other spouse the right to divorce them?
Not necessarily. It’s complicated. Sometimes people are not a good spouse, and the couple just needs to work on building their marriage. Other times, one spouse has left the marriage long before a divorce is filed. That is why it is important to talk with someone from your church to obtain a clear understanding. The Greek and Roman Catholic Church is governed by Roman law. The Methodist Church has the Book of Discipline. Other churches have teachings they follow.
Won’t my priest/minister try talking me out of filing for divorce?
A priest/minister will help you do what is right for you so that you are answering the call of God. They don’t know exactly what you are going through, but keep in mind, nobody does. Priests/ministers have worked with numerous people in their past. They meet with people who contemplate divorce, and then they are frequently updated on things work out for people. Some people get divorced and regret it. Others stay married and are miserable. The priests/ministers have learned from those people and can guide you.
Talk to a priest or minister who you like listening to at church. If you like their sermons, you will probably have an easier time opening up to them. If you don’t have anyone that you like at your church, try a different church. I’m not suggesting you change religions, just locations.
We are not meant to figure out something as complicated as divorce by ourselves.
If you have already started the divorce process, or even it’s over, you can still talk to your priest/minister about your divorce. It usually alleviates doubts or any questions people have. And that helps people move forward in a peaceful way.
If you are interested in the Catholic Church’s teachings on divorce,
click below to learn more
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him” - John 3:17